I think everyone has those five people. I certainly have had a Who, What, When, Where and Why. Although my story, as all stories, greatly differ from the one portrayed in this video, I can't help to reflect on my previous relationships and how they've affected my life.
I have some amazing memories and some bad ones. I've hurt some really good people and I've been hurt. But every single person has taught me something different about love and mostly, about myself. I don't think I'll ever be the same girl I ever was but at the same time, that girl never really leaves...
...You could say that When I loved were the first moments - my naivety. My first kiss happened when I chased a boy around the school playground. Being a child is freedom and as an adult, I feel lost sometimes and wonder what happened to that girl who chased that boy. I just went for it without a second thought. When I loved was a time where daydreams of childhood crushes, love and innocence were in full bloom.
Who I loved? Someone who was close to me. Someone who I consider still to be very close even though the distance stretched far. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and it can be true... However the worst of it is when your heart aches so much when that person is hurting and you just can't be there. I can certainly say that distance is not Where I loved.
Where I loved is difficult for me. I fall in love with new places and experiences. But I have to say that Where is a home. Not all love has to be romantic or just between two people. Where is the place I will always have and can always go back to. Whether it's this bedroom in this tiny apartment with two of my closest friends or across the country in my parent's house with my dogs. Where is a place that is always warm.
What I loved is probably the only only one person I have related to this video I've shared with you all. The person who I really cared for, who has always been there for me, comforted me through the hardest of times. I remember a dark place in my life and telling What I loved how alone I felt, to which they replied "I love you... isn't that enough?" Nothin had touched me or opened my eyes so much than those words but like this video, no matter how much we cared for each other, it was never quite enough for us to leave those we were with behind.
With everything said in this simple entry, I can't leave out Why. So much could be said here. Why do you love? I was close to losing my life once. Why I love is every friend, family and lover I have, had, or will have. Why I love is every single person in my life. But if I were to narrow this category down... Why is the person I feel like I hurt the most. It taught me a really true lesson that I needed to be a better person. Not only did I really need to be a better person to those around me but I really needed to become a better person to myself too. Why taught me that even though I was a teenager, I was still responsible for my actions. Why taught me that if I wanted love, that I needed to learn how to love myself. How will you know how to love another person if you can't find love for yourself first, after all?
I haven't found the Last yet. I'm not in any hurry, either. People will come and go from my life and the lessons will remain. One day, I'll find the Last and even then, the journey will continue...
No comments:
Post a Comment